Archive for October, 2007

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Women are sometimes not very familiar or comfortable with their physical sexuality. Cultural ignorance and myths about sex and women’s sexuality are part of the double standards that have throughout history granted greater sexual freedom to men than women. In our society sexuality has been particularly problematic for women, and Vance has identified how the socialization of women influences their ability to be sexual beings:
Women - socialized by mothers to keep their dresses down, their pants up, and their bodies away from strangers - come to experience their own sexual impulses as dangerous. Self control and watchfulness become major and necessary female virtues. As a result, female desire is suspect from its first tingle . . . questionable until proven safe, and frequently too expensive when evaluated within the larger cultural framework . . . which poses the question: is it really worth it?
(Vance 1984: 232-3)
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Working with sexual problems requires specific knowledge of sexuality and sexual functioning. Scharff and Scharff (1991: 4) point out that, over the years, psychoanalytic therapies have struggled to address such problems without the benefit of the necessary knowledge about sexual functioning and dysfunctions. Sexual problems often bridge the artificial division that has been made between physical and psychological problems. This is a result of the way that sexual functioning and the personality as a whole interrelate, and the fact that sexual functioning is impinged upon by both internal and external factors. In the face of this complexity it is not surprising that the therapeutic approaches that have been developed to deal with sexual difficulties vary greatly in their focus.
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Do medical and sexual health professionals agree on an objective definition of ED? Not really. The traditional definitions focused on the percentage of intercourse failures. Masters and Johnson (1970) defined ED as failing at intercourse more than 25 percent of the time. But what if you have unsuccessful intercourse (that is, fail to maintain a sufficiently strong erection for intromission—insertion of the penis into the vagina—and intravaginal ejaculation) only 15 percent of the time, but when it occurs you feel a devastating sense of personal and sexual failure? Or what if you have strong erections, but you ejaculate and lose your erection before your penis enters her vagina? Or suppose you have good erections with oral sex or during masturbation, but not during intercourse? Or what if intercourse takes place for more than twenty minutes, but you experience ejaculatory inhibition and cannot come? Many men with ejaculatory inhibition eventually lose their erection and misdiagnose themselves as having ED.
It you seldom get an erection or you avoid trying to have sex because of fear, clearly you are suffering from ED. On the other hand, if you are usually successful with intercourse but sometimes fail—whether once every ten times, once a month, or once a year—this is well within the range of normal sexual response and is not considered ED. A comprehensive definition of ED centers on a lack of comfort and confidence with erection, which can involve a variety of contributing factors.

Here’s a summary of the differences between people who are interested in their goals compared to those who are committed.

People who are interested in losing weight:

1. Stick with it until something better comes along
2. Take action only if they “feel like” doing it
3. Need to see results in order to stay motivated
4. Blame people or circumstances for their struggles
5. Easily give up when they fare challenges

People who are committed to losing weight:

1. Stick with their plans no matter what
2. Take action whether they feel like doing it or not
3. Assume that if they stay motivated, results will follow
4. Take responsibility for their own actions
5. Keep going in spite of challenges and setbacks